2D, la victime incarnée

2D (traduction à venir)
Born: Crawley
Age: 23
Influences: Butorphanol, Tartrate, Phill Oakey, Lucio Fulci
Hit twice on the head when young, 2D is a sweetheart with a blank sheet of paper where a brain should be. He has really good hair. People think he's cool and enigmatic but he's just got a migraine.2D idolises Murdoc, who, he feels, saved his life. Keyboard wizard, melodica maniac, graffiti compulsive and the perfect pin-up product. Voice like an angel, arse like a satsuma. Mind full of zombies and painkillers. Says nothing controversial. Says nothing much at all.Loved by everyone (except the green eyed Murdoc), 2D has legions of lady followers and would make a good boyfriend if only he'd wake up.

2D is only vaguely aware of his incredible success. The blue-haired poster boy has described the tidal wave as "er... wicked." While his migraines, graffiti complusion and melodica mania may have given away to him becoming a "Cosmonaut of Inner Space," he's still navigating with a hand-sprayed map. His good work for the Free Tibet campaign must, 2D contests, prove his naysayers "wrong or something?" God help him if he ever had to get a proper job! Future projects: Clocking Tetris and meeting the young David Cassidy. When asked what the future holds, he said: "That's for you to know and me to find out... no... wait a minute..."

  2D hung around in L.A. for a while, mainly with that Brian Setzer of 'Stray   Cat Strut' fame. It was through Brian that 2D met Britt Ekland. 'Yeah she's   nice. I fancied her since Murdoc lent me his copy of the Wickerman. But her   arse looks a lot smaller in real life.' However ultimately aimless and deeply   disillusioned, 2D pissed off back to England to get his head together.
  He went back home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down in Eastbourne,   who gave 2D a job collecting money from the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from   carriage to carriage, chatting up birds, these were the greatest days of 2D's   life. HE also became good mates with Shane Lynch, Ex-Boyzone, who took the money   on The Waltzer.
  The pair became inseparable, working the rides by day and cruising the town   by night. God knows how many blue-haired babies there must be out there! Adopting   the teddy boy look with drainpipe jeans and his hair slicked into greasy quiff,   2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King   of the carousel! 'Awright, darling!'
  What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back.   And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realised   that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Great! He's   still just as dim as always, but now thinks the sun shines out of his own...
  So 2D 'stu-pot' the skinny greaser hardnut, has gone from boy to man. Packet   of three, a fresh roll-up and a flick-comb. He's set.
  His confidence fully restored 2D has decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like,   sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!'
  Uh oh!

Jamie Hewlett's comments (source: Q magazine, August 2001 issue)
"Everybody thinks that 2-D is Damon, but none of the characters are based on any of us. 2-D is the classic stupid pretty boy singer. He's the fall guy, the stooge. Everyone takes the piss out of him. He had a car accident where he went through the windscreen and ended up with two bumps on his head. It knocked some cool into him".

2D (or 2-D, both spellings are used in official releases)'s real name is Stuart, and his nickname before he was in the band was Stu-Pot. This is possibly a shortening of 'Stuart Pot' or some other name, but nobody really knows. He was born and raised in Hertfordshire, England but moved to Crawley, West Sussex, because of a lawsuit that was being brought against him by his classical piano teacher Ivana Abramovitch for breaking her hand [source: Gorillaz XFM Takeover]. As revealed in the official band biography number one (see the band section) he used to work in Uncle Norm's organ emporium before he was famous, and it was there that he suffered an injury when Murdoc ram-raided the shop in an attempt to steal equipment to form his new band. This left one dent on his head, and left him in a coma. As part of Murdoc's sentence for the attempted robbery he had to care for Stu-Pot for a certain amount of time, and during this time he injured Stu-Pot again, giving him another dent on the head (hence the name 2-D, short for 'two dents'). The injuries also fractured his eyeballs (hence the black eyes). However this second injury brought him out of a coma but definitely affected his psychology, in that it made him (even?) more vacant. He also gets terrible headaches, probably related to the injuries, and is most likely addicted to painkillers because of this. In the Gorillaz he sings lead vocals and plays keyboards. 2-D used to go out with Rachel Stevens (of S Club7 fame) for a short while, but Murdoc kept trying to hit on Rachel and in the end it broke them up [source: Celebrity Take Down DVD]. Rachel Stevens wasn't the only girl that Murdoc drove away from 2D. Paula, who used to be in the Gorillaz was 2D's girlfriend for a time, and she left the band shortly after this photo was taken, due to 'a rather sticky incidnt involving Murdoc and her in the studio toilets (resulting in Russel punching Murdoc in the face so hard that he broke his nose in about 5 places)' [source: Dr.Wurzel's website]. When 2-D first went to the US in Summer 2001 he met Adam Yauch from the Beastie Boys in New York and was influenced to start promoting the 'Free Tibet' campaign (wearing a 'Free Tibet' tshirt at The Brits, and joining silent protests outside the Chinese embassy in London, redecorated his room). 2D apparently [according to the Noodleblast] messed around with a lot of girls during his time off. The start of Phase Two sees him wielding knives and flicking cigarettes in interviews, whilst using a number of swearwords to describe entries in the 'Search For A Star' contest... a new direction for the previously dopey 2D?